A Crazy Story About A Crazy Kid

I remember this one time at school when I had a sub teacher for class. And I sat next to this kid named Jasper or something, he had maybe 3 teeth at most. Anyhow, sub teacher walks in saying "Good morning class, my name is Mr. Hamilton. I hope you all brushed your teeth today!" everyone just moans and groans (typical slackers-stoners in that class, too fucked up on the weed from last night to give a shit about anything in class), however Jasper all of a sudden yells out "Oh haha goddammit, just cause I gots 3 teeth you hafta rub it in. Well I'll tell you what mister, I have less teeth than a pig, but does that make me one? No goddammit", then this conversation took place.

Mr. Hamilton: No I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry son.
Jasper: What the hell ya goddamn queer? I aint yer son, fuck off will ya? Oh look at me I'm a yuppie, I wear clean underwear and have all my teeth and I have a yuppie name like Hamilton and shit, I'm special!
Mr. Hamilton: What? No, no I didn't mean it like that, I didn't know, what is your name?
Jasper: My name is Jasper goddammit, but you can lick my asshole for all I care because I'm gonna marry my girl Betsy-Lou on my farm tractor. I don't care that she is a pig, she oinks and that means she said she loves me, that's all that matters.
Mr. Hamilton: Now look, even though I might have AIDS, I know for a fact having sex with pigs is illegal. You cant do that Jasper, please stop. Now go wash up!
Jasper: Look here gooddammit city slicker! I dont care about city law, I live in them woods, where there is country law, which says I can marry a pig if I want!
Mr. Hamilton: You're sorely mistaken son. You need teeth for that!
Jasper: STOP CALLING ME SON YOU YUPPIE FAGGOT OR I WILL BREAK YOUR GODDAMN SISSY QUEER JAW WITH A SHOVEL THEN FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE!

Needless to say, Jasper threw a potato (no I don't know where he got it, he usually only brings tomatoes and heroin with him to class) at Mr. Hamilton and it hit him right in the head. Hamilton cried like a little bitch, ran outta the classroom and he never came back again. For the rest of the class hour we just played poker and pozzed up the local Thai slut named Tina in the corner of the class. That was a fun day!